I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
