So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
