I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
