Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
