Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
