dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
