put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
