I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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