all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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