The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
