I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
