haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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