to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
