So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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