Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
