the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
