i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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