Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
