It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
