I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
