woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
