I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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