oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
