Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
