we're blogging at a bar
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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