i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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