I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
