I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
