If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
