You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
