Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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