Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
