hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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