I wish I only lived at night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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