I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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