there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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