hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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