I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
