I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
