The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
