I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize