all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
