Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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