just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
