I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
