dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
