i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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