Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
