All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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