Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
