Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
