your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
no, he came in my armpit
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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