watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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